Work/Life Balance

It's been two years since I've blogged. I miss it! My career in arts management has changed so much, mostly for the best, and since my life often revolves around my career, I guess it's safe to say my life has very much changed as well.

My work with the jazz organization ended in March 2007, when I left -- very pissed off -- to work for a well-respected, major performing arts organization in the DC area. It was not an easy decision to leave the jazz org. I loved almost everyone I worked with, I loved the musicians, I loved the music, I loved the mission. But there was such dysfunction -- the type of dysfunction that case studies in management classes are made of -- that I couldn't trust the organization's leadership any more. I was bold-faced lied to on many occasions, and I saw staff treated horrendously. There were double standards, institutional passive-aggressiveness, great indecision, poor leadership, and more.

But...

There's always that "But..." when I talk about my leaving. I've been told that's how people in abusive relationships feel! Yes, I was treated poorly, lied to, disrespected, and more. BUT....I so loved the mission and the people. It was also slightly glamorous, getting to travel with internationally renowned musicians, doing events at venues like Carnegie Hall, the UN, the State Dept, the Kodak Theater, staying in very nice hotels. I STILL can't completely reconcile my leaving, though I can intellectualize that it was probably the best career decision I've ever made.

Now I'm working for another well-known organization, but this time where employees are treated with fairness and respect, where the programs are truly making a deep impact, where teamwork is crucial and strongly encouraged, where I'm surrounded by very smart and passionate people, and where people seem genuinely happy to be there.

Personally, I've learned so much in the year and a half I've been there. I'm managing a team of five full-time and part-time employees, I'm responsible for seven programs, I have the freedom to try new things and take appropriate risk, I get to work with amazing artists and educators, and I've doubled my professional contacts.

But...

I've been having two difficult issues with working at the new org, and they're getting to be big issues for me: work/life balance, and lack of excitement.

Goodness, there is so much to be done. I've never had this much work to do! I like doing excellent work, and I feel as though the only way to be excellent is to work long hours. I could do the typical 9am-5pm like others do, but I feel I would only be average. So I work 50-60 hour weeks, every week. Which was fine in the beginning. The result of all of those long hours was that the impact of our programs doubled in some cases. Revenue increased, programs expanded, statistics sky-rocketed in a very good way. Great for the org, but terrible for me in the long run. I have lost my work/life balance. I hardly see my husband or my friends, I'm not involved with the flute organization I used to head, I'm exhausted, and I can't turn my brain off. I think I'm literally addicted to work.

All of this MIGHT be manageable (except not seeing my husband as much as I'd like) if there was some crazy excitement attached. Crazy after-hours get-togethers, or travelling across the country, or, I don't know, cat juggling, or SOMETHING. But this very well-respected, well-run organization that I work for is also very straight and narrow. BORING. ::Sigh::

So I've gone from one extreme (a terribly run, but terribly exciting, organization) to another (an expertly-run, but terribly boring, organization). I need to figure out how to better balance my work and life so that I can, uh, HAVE a life. So that I can create that excitement on my own, with my husband and friends, with family, with the community, blah blah blah. And, also, how do I continue getting great results at work without working so many hours?

Also, can anyone teach me how to cat juggle?